Friday, May 8, 2009

Thinking out loud!

Today was one of those days when i hated everything about me. I hate my life. I mean ive got to a point where i want to break free but what-will-people-say is whats keeping me from doing anything 'rash'. I mean i want to do things that would make *ME* happy...things that might not get me good money but will help me feel content. But if you ask me what are those things? What would make me happy? I would be ask blank as i am now. Cuz to be honest i dont know what i want, what i like.

Im tired of living a fake life. I hate wearing a mask everysecond of the day. Im not sure if anyone knows the real me. Im not sure if *I* know the real me.
Nothing in my current life makes me happy. NOTHING. Not even booze. I do it cuz that is the only thing that makes me forget alllll these things for a while...but i dont want it. I dont want that to be a part of my life. But i aint got nothing better happening in my life.

Maybe i should press a backspace..but would that mean that im again hiding behind the mask? Maybe someone out there will read this and will help me realize what i want..but will that somebody know what 'he/she' wants from life?
I doubt!!!


Anonymous said...

Maybe you should take a step back; Rather than trying to look for things that make you happy - Identify those things that are clearly making you UN-happy. And change them or eliminate them. Then what you have left will be all the many things that are left to allow you to be happy again.

Rajesh said...

Oye ..saale aisa kya ho gaya ? ping me when u are awake