Thursday, May 21, 2009

Still Scribbling!!!

Life has come to a point where I have to take a decision. Things aren’t exciting anymore. Life has become a ‘routine’ or maybe that’s how it has always been for me…maybe ive started realizing it now. Professionally I don’t like it anymore. Even though I have people who trust my abilities and see me doing wonders here, I somehow can’t picture myself doing all that. There are quite a few number of things bothering me…. I wish I was able to narrow it down and take the thorn out. I, definitely, don’t have a mile long list but it’s just that I don’t know what’s bothering me more.

Is it the market slump(we, directly or indirectly, are affected by it) or is it the new work environment/people or is it the kind of work that ive been asked to do or is it my ignorance.

I don’t know what good or bad am I doing to me by standing still and letting the time go but im not able to find a way out… not able to face the daemons. Hell! Im not able to see them, forget about facing them. I hate when I get into this mood. I hate to wear the ‘thinking’ cap cuz I never take it off. I love to be the spur-of-the-moment guy and I hate not being that guy. It’s been months …..what makes things worse is that even though ive realized the change, I can’t do jack shit about it. I mean that proves my point of me leading a routine life. I mean in terms of materialistic things as well, I think a million times. I can’t go out with friends for a drink. I can’t get the tattoo done. I can’t go home(read Punjab) ….Why? Cuz something inside me tells me to save the money …. Save the money for something big….spend it wisely…

What a life!! Is it even mine? I doubt that!!! It’s like ive been living it for someone else. Killing myself everyday so as to make life better for others.

I donno man..i can go on and on and on….nobody would care…nobody does!!!! Cuz…. they say “It’s your life” ….. IS IT? :)


Anonymous said...

Be patient. Be thankful for the ones that are in your life now and that have led you to where you are now and that will lead you to where you will go. We all have a destiny. Maybe sometimes we miss our queue... the signs.. and God says .. Ahhh ok.. well, lets try again... He is patient too. We have to just keep our eyes open, and if we do close them, pray someone is sent to us to wake us up! (e.g. keep us from standing still)

Hang in there... Change will Come your way. It is in the stars for all of us eventually. For all good people.

Rajesh said...

ver well said Dawn .. and Amit just look back and see what all you achieved after getting into corporate world from 2004 . In such a short period with your hardwork and blessings of elders and god almighty you have so many things to be proud of . I know you miss your old dats thats only coz you have moolah now ;) coz you have a secure job ! i would also like to repeat what Xena said

Hang in there... Change will Come your way. It is in the stars for all of us eventually. For all good people.

varun said...

Thand rakh bhai....I have seen lot of people here and in swades who think work is everything and they get sucked into it so much that they wont see anything around them...they think about it too much...about recession, promotions, pay raise etc., I say we make things complicated for should be part of your life...chill out...take a break if things that u like to positive and listen to "Goli maar bheje mein" song... :-)