Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Suicide Note!!

Recently i did something that i never thought would or could do. I committed a Suicide...a virtual one this time. Now what this means is that i deleted my account from all the Social Networking sites like ORKUT,FACEBOOK and a few more. I dont have any particular reason for it.

Maybe i was spending too much time on these sites, maybe i was out of limelight (ask a LEO what that means) and wanted focus back on me or maybe my EX was stalking me on these sites(OOOO!!! this will tick something in someone's mind) .

So coming back to the point, i did committed a suicide and then aptly i wanted to leave a Suicide note but i dont want to mock anyone by writting fictional Suicide Notes cuz i think if any person is committing suicide he genuinely has problems and needs counselling(look whoz talking ;) ) . So i, as usual, googled for Suicide Notes and i must tell you some of them were really inspiring. Here are some of my favourites Suicide Notes or Excerpts or Quotes whatever you may wanna call it

Goodbye, my friend, goodbye
My love, you are in my heart.
It was preordained we should part
And be reunited by and by.
Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Let's have no sadness -- furrowed brow.
There's nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.
Written in his own blood, and given to a friend the day before he hanged himself.~~ Sergei Esenin, Russian poet, d. Dec. 28, 1925

To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?
Suicide note.~~ George Eastman, inventor, d. March 14, 1932

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism
It's better to burn out,Than to fade away.
Neil Young

Just as I shall select my ship when I am about to go on a voyage, or my house when I propose to take a residence, so shall I choose my death when I am about to depart from life.

Death is a punishment to some, to others a gift and to many a favour.

Let them think what they liked, but I didn't mean to drown myself. I meant to swim till I sank, but that's not the same thing.
Joseph Conrad

And then the most thoughtfully written and ironically this is written by a legend. Kurt Cobain :)

To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.

Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.

Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.

For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

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