Friday, November 21, 2008

Liar Liar!!

Every convincing lie is formed around a grain of fact, enrobed by several layers of fabrication. A good lie is like a pearl: a tiny grit of truth covered with a dense nacre of falsities

Why do I lie? Most likely because I consider my life to be drab and seek to add notes of humor, absurdity, or cinematic panache to its humdrum circumstances. I often feel as though I am tendering my life in the form of a screenplay to an old-school, cigar-chomping Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer producer:

PRODUCER: I read your script, Davidson, and it stinks to high heaven. Nothing to sink your teeth into — where's the rising action, the falling action, the sultry love interest and saucy boudoir scenes? Your main character, he's a sap! A nervous Neddie! Make him a fighter pilot or a boxer or, goddamnit, a secret agent behind Kraut lines. Punchier, Davidson — give me PUNCHIER!

So I lie. I lie in my job , and I lie off the clock. The problem, as all inveterate liars know, is that invariably these lies catch up. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. Quite honestly, I've broken off more than one relationship due to an accumulation of falsehoods.

But I did lie compulsively and, instead of simply admitting I'd done so and trying to move on, fled relationships like a chicken-gutted soldier fleeing the battlefield, salting the earth behind me as I went.I'm like a raging alcoholic turned teetotaler. And as with a reformed alcoholic, I know that one lie, like one drink, leads to another and another and soon I'm claiming to share the bloodlines of Danish royalty or that I once wrestled a spotted snow leopard.

Nowadays I am a fastidious truth-teller, no matter how poor a light it casts me in.

Dont ask me what triggered this change and you wont hear no lies :)

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