Lakers!!!

Foam fingers for fans, broken finger for KOBE and too many fingers for a dizzy Artest. I got a one finger salute to Lakers recent play.

Aap, main aur mera El Charro

Clown makes everyone tickle BUT......

I don't want the world to see me,

'cause I don't think they'd understand

when everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know WHO I AM

The Countdown has begun!!!

43 (working) days to go....

PS: 2009 sucked!!!!!!!!!!!BIG Time!!!!!!!!!!

Hungry Again!!!

Ive always liked the spotlight (ask a LEO and u will know what that means to him/her).I remember, as a kid, I used to do stuff that would get me attention and trust me I used to get all the wrong kind of attention. Growing up I learnt different ways of getting attention. It was those damn slogan tees in college and then all some expensive brands during the first job. Down the line I also realized that you can use your work to get attention too. And being a freshman it was easy for me to work through and rise up the ranks (going onsite was a big deal for a rookie).

But then suddenly I started feeling content (aint nothing bad in that rite), I gave up on lot many things, goals, ambitions (cuz maybe I really had what I wanted..Job/Onsite/new-job/friends/girlfriend). I started going with the flow but now i have the feeling back. I feel restless again. I want things again. I want more from life now..and im not gonna sit and wait for things to happen, im gonna work and make things happen now.

Cuz im hungry...hungry for everything u can think of

I dont know if this is a good thing or bad...guess we will soon find out.

Its Over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its final..i don’t believe in god anymore…hell I think I might be in a war against him now…I mean things have from bad to worse …from accidents to monetary loses to people dying..i have sent it all in past coupla days…and If being friends with God got me this then I as well stay away from his company.

I get ran over by a bus while waiting at a traffic signal and get my car damaged in the process(yea…AGAIN), One of my younger cousins(just 21 in age) dies in an accident and then when I want to be at his funeral I miss my flight…talk about the mental stress levels.

What had I done to deserve this??? Whats the bright side of this??? Whats the positive out of this??? What lessons do I learn from all this??

All this ,indeed, has made me learn one thing, that there is no God. Destiny drives everything. Cuz if he was there, he surely would have listened to prayers of thousands of his college mates, he would have listened to prayers of a mother who hadnt seen his son for past 4 months, he would have listened to prayers of those who knew him as friend…but he remained unmoved..he did wat he wanted to do…is that GOD?? Or is that destiny fucking around with you???? I don’t know and I don’t want to know..all I knw is that if something is going to happen, it will happen. Praying to anyone wont help for sure.

Moral teachings

Read this while i was home this time(at my mom's school). Makes me wonder if it still holds true. Not in the corporate world atleast. And i still cant figure out what are they trying to tell young kids in school via this.

Per Kg???? WTF!!????

Crackers here are sold per KG while apples sell per piece.... Crazy Shit huh!!!!

Acquired!!!!Tally goes to 14

Thanks to Chris-T i have another pair of Jordan...Looks way too cool..isn't it???...Now whats the next thing on my list????? A pair of in-ear headphones...hmmmm....so guys ..buy 'em and email me for the address..i've got a friend coming..lol

God Bless you??!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?

“…There is a lesson to be learnt from everything…” said my mom after hearing that I had met with an accident.

But I don’t think there were any lessons to be learned from this one. Waiting at a traffic signal for the light to go green and u get rammed by a truck..I don’t think so.

Situations like these would either make an atheist start believing in God or would make a theist question his morals.

This made me wonder…Why do we believe in god?? I know im gonna ruffle some feathers with this but I cant help question your beliefs..and mind you its not to offend anyone of you. The selfish person that I am,i'm doing this just for me....maybe im trying to strengthen my belief cuz off late Ive had started questioning certain things.

I also spoke to one of my close friend, Mr. wiki (cuz most of the times he would have answer to all ur questions) and this is what he had to tell me.

“When we are a kid, we have someone who would make decisions for the family. And quite often we trust his instincts and go by his word. But when WE get to be a decision maker we sometimes hesitate cuz quite frankly things are always not a shade of black or white. The thoughts of the aftermath or repercussions sometimes makes us weak and thats when we turn to someone superior, someone who we think would have answers to all the questions and hence pray”

This easily explains as to why, most of the, people pray in tough times. But why do we pray in normal times…like good time, bad time we have something called normal time..where things are just on track …you ofcourse would want more out of them bt at that point u r ok (may or may not be happy) with how things are shaping…so why do we pray??

I asked couple of my friends and 90% of the people replied me saying they pray for well being of their loved ones. Hope is what drives them, hope that the prayers will keep there loved ones safe. The other 10% said that they pray for things to be better or things to be done ‘their’ way.

So my next question was …”how does fate/destiny fit into this”....i mean on one side we say that things are destined to happen and the ever so famous “honi ko kaun taal sakta hai”…….so if something is destined and is already planned then do u think praying to god would help??? I mean the cast is already set..isnt it?? He has already decided how ur life would be shaped…you are doing what he wants you to do…you are just enacting …aint that right???

Now some people also pray to seek forgiveness for the sins that they have commited???? But werent those planned as well??? And even if they werent then why would you seek forgiveness ??To get an entry into Heaven??? Something that nobody has seen?? Something that can be classified as ‘fictional’. Or to have longer life??? But if that was the case then all the saints would have lived forever …pope would have never died then…Does that mean we ,like always, are pursuing something that we think will help ease out our future. But at the cost of our present???

I don’t know if it would make sense to you but what the hell , not everything is derived by logic…

Comments/Brickbats must.

??

Past couple of days have been really boring..thanks to my tooth extraction..havent had chance to do anything i like....

Anywz, hope the wounds heal before Diwali...

Roadtrip Down south!!!!

LIFE IS AN OPEN ROAD FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Shit, Not Again!!!!!

“Oh shit, Not Again!”

That’s the book that im reading these days…but I should have listened to people who say “you should never judge a book by its cover”.

But then again, it’s difficult to ignore a cover which ask you following questions :

Have you ever experienced what happens when a porn movie is mistakenly played in front of your grandma and the CD player refuses to stop?

OR

Have you ever experienced what happens when a boy is kicked in the groin by a girl when he attempts to kiss her?

OR

Have you ever experienced what happens when a college-going student has an affair with a married woman whose husband carts a gun?

Let’s complete this and then i would tell yall how it was

What time is it!!??!!

I don’t think anyone knows…bt I have a certain time of the year when things go really wrong for me…it’s like anything I do (or not do), I end up being at the receiving end. Awful things start happening….like road accidents, injuries, fighting with friends, dead relatives..all sort of cranky things…so that’s when I try avoiding people, that’s when I try to stay alone(so as not to pick any unwanted fights)

All of this has been happening for last couple of years…normally its 2 months every year (November and December)..but looks like it happened a lil early this year (or maybe it’s just a heads up for what’s in store for me, or maybe its extended from 2 months to 4 months now)…. First I grow away from a very close friend, then I get my car fucked up and now being sick …its guess the time has come for me.

Thunder comes to India!!!

The wait is over!!!! The Baap of all Bikes is here. Harley Davidson is officially launched in India and even though the first set of bikes will be thumping down the streets sometime in 2010 the much anticipated wait seems to be over. Well.. almost over..thanks to mangoes.

(You must be thinking that ive gone crazy...but go ahead and read full story here)

Riding the Indian Harley was fun but i think I have to let go of Indian Harley, will have to retire mine and will have to book a Harley.

I know it might cost me a fortune but what the hell..you just live once..dontcha...plus rumors are they might release an Indian version of the bike ...closer to 200 grand, which i think is worth the label....

Harley tees is what i already have..all i need is a bike and retire from this job .. Im gonna be a H.O.G someday.

~~Still Thinking~~

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple

Sometimes good bye's the only way

Yayyy

Guess whoz coming to town

More Questions!

Have you ever wanted to be alone when noone was in the house?

Have you ever felt like doing nothing when all you have done the entire day was "NOTHING"?

Picture Perfect!!

What a week it was!!! I have put up a picture post this time....while some of these pics are breath-taking others are plain funny....Ask me and i will tell you about the places ive been :)

I really was wishing that yall were with me while i was out there.

Aite...this is it... Enjoy the pics

ME!!!!!!!!!!

OOO(Out of Office)

Its getting HOTTTTTTTT in here...

PS: Feels good to be home!!!!!!!Gonna drive to the mountains today...closer to nature...closer to where i belong

Champ is here!!

A Picture is worth a thousand words

Mixed emotions!!!

A day full of emotions…a day where I didn’t knew how to react…cuz there were happy moments and sad moments too…and that too at the same time… It’s my friends Bday today..so I was happy for her..it was her day..so called her at my midnight, at her midnight(she is in US) …spoke to her and she sounded happy…sounded just like the way anyone would at their bday…got my ‘revamped’ professional designation today…

Everything is fine if you don’t ask people as to what they got…but it’s practically impossible to do so …even if you don’t inquire, you still will get to know about what others have got…so a very good friend of mine got a band higher than me and even though I was happy for her, I felt a lil bad for myself…

Kept reminding myself …“Comparisons often cause unhappiness” ..but easier said than done…I was flushed…another heart break …

But me is me...can’t be sad for too long…im not sad anymore...it’s just that im a lil disappointed, feel a lil let down …By the company ..cuz they talk about being a people friendly company, a transparent company, a impartial one

Anyways…congrats babe…for getting what you got…it was about time too..so bask in the glory

And Happy Bday Girlfriend…many more to come…Go party!!!And dont forget to send me the pics...

PS: The day lit up in the evening.....after we won the championship

Heart Broken

Im devastated, heartbroken and have been mourning since yday. The loss is irreplaceable. Things are going wrong…for my shoes..I have broken 2 shoes this year…two of my favorite ones…Jordan Retro series and And 1 shoes(my super favorite)…. I can’t seem to get over the fact that I won’t be able to play in them anymore L. Im depressed ..so depressed that I cant concentrate on anything….

People who know me would know how crazy I am for sneakers and would know what this loss means to me.

Don’t sympathize with me….don’t tell me “ I know how it feels”… cuz you don’t…you know what..”RETAIL THERAPY” always works…be it a guy or a girl….it works…so if you want to help me, please order any of these for me L *makes a cute boo boo face* ..remember im US-15/UK-14 size.

http://www.and1usa.com/NEW/footwear/smooth.html

http://www.footlocker.com/catalog/productdetail/model_nbr--98786/sku--31823101/size--15.0/cm--GLOBAL%20SEARCH%3A%20KEYWORD%20SEARCH/

:``((

Oops!!! I did it again!!!

Counter Reset!!!!!

PS: Apparently I've still got the charm

The day that Never comes!!!

After completing 35 days without alcohol, I finally succumbed under pressure. Well it wasnt pressure, its just that there are some people I cant say NO to.

So it was weekend, we went out (supposedly for dinner) and thats when I was offered drink by my brother(from another mother) and I had to take it. Just like I had no reason to tell as to why I had decided not to drink, I have no reason to tell you, now, that why I accepted the drink.

Anyways, My clock has been reset and lets see how it goes from here on.

PS: Now that I have my clock reset, should I use the Beers sitting in my fridge? :)

PS2: Mr.Rajesh I hope you feel previledged that of all the occasions I chose this.

Main, Meri Patni ..aur bijli band !!!!!!

"A Man and a Storm never issue a warning before descending on you".

The statement jumpstarted my lazy sunday morning. LOL!!!

Apart from the statement, the article also made me think about my horrendous U.P trip(experienced way back in college days)...personally it was a very overwhelming trip, trip full of emotions...from happiness to sadness to disgust to fear..everything.

I had gone to attend a wedding. The wedding was at a place called HAPUR(less than 80 kms from the capital). I was excited for the trip..excited because I had already heard some shocker of the news before we even planned our trip. News like there were two marriages that were suppose to happen in 2 consecutive days....One of my friends neice and second of my friends younger brother......looking for the shocking part????? here it comes....His neice was just 16 and considering we were in college doing our masters i think his younger brother wouldnt be older than 20-21. I had already asked my friends a zillion questions ...Questions about the hurry they were in, and why were they doing this to them ...but he had only 1 answer to all my questions..."Thats how it happens in my place"..and i wasnt buying that answer cuz he was "in college" and still un-married...a Virgin for that matter...so if that was the case, he should have been married to...but me being me ...didnt wanted to take it to an argumental level and decided that I would see for myself.

So coming back to this article I read in todays newspaper, it so true that people dont have anything to do..i mean out of 24 hours, the so called "posh areas" get electricity for mere 4 hours and that too from 2am to 6am...wow!!!!

The site and sound of the place still haunts me....There were children everywhere...everywhere you see...and if u sit in ur room and close ur eyez..the only sound you can heard was of children...some crying..some playing..some laughing....so to beat this cacophony me and my friend, who had travelled with me from college, decided to go for a walk...walk in the fields...In countryside, especially in India, you cant miss two things:

• Lush green farms and
• Children playing cricket

Me and my friend both are from farmer family so we decided to goto farms and see what kind of tools do they use ..you know like picking the best practices :) ...U.P is known for its sugarcane production.....and we were surprised to see 10-12 foot high sugarcanes...i mean we do sugarcane plantation in our state as well, but the max we get is a 5-6 footers...so that was really impressive..and immediately got us thinking that how could a state so rich in plantation be so poor....we had just one answer...Population!!!

anyways, we went over to the kids who were playing...seeing us come towards them, they stopped and asked us if we would like to play..we played with them for a while...and then after we were done, we sat near a tubewell and asked them about their names and schools they study in...all of them were from the village school..and told us that even though it was a wednesday, there was no school for them ...REASON??? It was sarpanchs(village heads) daughters wedding :) ...

We asked them about their favourite cricket players....they stared at us with a blank face, as if we had asked them to spell checkoslovakia(I too googled it)....

They told us that they dont watch cricket...."cuz there is no electrcity in the village"

Someother things that we found out during our stay were:

• There was no chemist shop in the close vicinity( so no using contraceptives)
• Sarpanch(Village head) himself had 9 kids...Talk about leading from the front
• Electricity Poles didnt had wires..story goes that wires were stolen
• The night never seemed so beautiful...i have never seen bigger stars in the sky..maybe cuz of lack of pollution

I used to get real mad at him for not replying to my emails during vacations...not after that trip

Taking Stock~Talking Sock!!!!

I sometime wonder as to What is a more disgusting site…a guy wearing sagged socks(the ones which have a loose elastic) or a guy wearing NO socks with leather shoes???

I detest both these breed of people. Im sorry to say but we as in Indians still have to realize that socks are ALSO part of the dressing. A very important one for that matter.Ive seen gazillion guys wearing proper formals but when it comes to socks, they would make a complete fool out of themselves.

While some wear Black trousers, nice formal shirts.. GREEN socks…or shining BLUE socks or sporty ankle sock, others do it The other way round. They would wear formal socks with sports shoes..how weird is that!!!! I know it’s a part of the clothing which is not quiet visible but that doesn’t mean you can wear anything or NOT wear anything. That’s stupidity.

It was the same case with undees sometime back. But now people treat their undees as if it’s a thing to show off…I guess in some more years socks will improve too.

I will try to click some pictures of such guys and maybe that will tell you what that means!!! ;)

Goodbye Guys!

There are a very few people who you call friends in this corporate world. And Just when you think that life couldn't get any better, they get an Onsite assignment.

Such is Life is guess!!!!!

My HERO!!!

There is one character that I totally admire and idolize. One guy I always aspire to be. One guy I know I would never become. He is the guy who gave India two golden words. Two words that rocked the world. Two words that still echo in million hearts.

INQUILAB ZINDABAD.

Its none other than the legendary Shaheed Bhagat Singh.

Im a proud Punjabi and he gave me enough reasons to be proud.

If you want to know more about him. Click here

Hold on, Be Strong!!!!

I dont know about others but I love cooking...I love cooking when i feel like cooking..By choice i.e. And there is nothing like sipping beer or scotch while cooking. Drink while cooking seems to be my mantra.

If it wasnt for the changed me, today would be have been an ideal day for Rum and Coke. I cooked today...and what do i do....Drink while cooking..but only this time around, it was nothing more than "orange juice".

Talk about resisting the temptation !!!!!

PS: It takes a lot of determination to ignore the beer bottles sitting in your fridge.

Going Green!

July 1 182/183…that’s what my calendar showed today….Aint nothing special about this day..I mean it’s not a holiday..it’s not a weekend…nothing special happened @ work…But come to think of it and I realized that this indeed is a special day for me…Special because It marks 6 months of me being a vegetarian..a Huge achievement…It is something that makes me feel proud of myself. Honestly I never thought I could come this far with this thing, and trust me it wasn’t an easy thing to do. I mean imagine going out in a group and people around you having all kinds of chickens and mutton and beefs while you munch on green salad. And being a BIG GUY definitely doesn’t help the cause. While others would order just one plate of any of those dishes, you probably would have to order that damn salad 3-4 times…at least I did and it feels kind of odd. Or Imagine you going to a friend’s Bday party and eating munchies while others are feasting on home cooked chicken and Beef.

But now when I look back, I feel good. I feel good that I had the determination. Feel food that I was strong enough to say “NO”.

Am I happy? Yes and no!! Yes cuz I came this far and NO cuz I feel that I am missing out on something J …the real test however would be when I go home.

How long is this going to go? I guess its gonna b like this for another 6 months…maybe after I complete a year, I won’t have the craving( I doubt that though!)

What Next!!???? Let’s just say that ive become a teetotaler from today(yea..Laugh all you want..will c u on 31^st Dec ’09)…I wonder what im gonna go with 2 beers sitting in my fridge!!! Heard beer is a good conditioner….*sigh* if only I had hair on my head!!!!

Silent Killers

I hate people who have opinion about everything...Having said that...Herez my opinion on Introverts

Introverts I feel have a better life, than extroverts. They are not exactly introverts so to say...they just dont open up with everyone...they do have a life, they do have best friends...they too would scream their guts out on a merry-go-round...so why do we call them INTROVERTS...

The thing that makes them different is that choose people....they play practical....If they like you, they will hang around with you else they wont care about you...They dont pretend to be someone they arent...They wont go bragging about how they are your best buddy and how they would do anything for you and then at the time of need show their ass and run away..and the best thing about them is that they handle criticism well....cuz all their life they have an additional pressure on them...pressure of people picking on them, watching them closely. I had a friend of mine who got the hottest girl in campus just cuz she thought he had a mystery around him...Lucky Bastard huh!!!

I'll tell u one thing...I 'tried' being an Introvert....I'm a very filmy kind of a guy...Inspired by some characters of some movie, I tried becoming an introvert( I really like when the bad guy just talks with his eyes, delivers one liners and walks away with box full of money and leaves carnage behind)..but to be honest, i get headache if i dont speak for over an hour..or stay home and dont talk to anyone or dont say something..humm a song...

Tell you one more thing.....I want to be a confidant to one Introvert guy..better gurl ;) !~!~! LOL !~!~!

~Writing on the Wall~

I remember me looking for suicide notes couple of months back(reasons..i also don’t know) but today while listening to a song, I felt that ive found a perfect suicide note( and u thought u know me ..huh!) ….If I ever commit a suicide..EVER!!! Following will be my suicide note

OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND

FEAST YOUR EYES

Damn ..what a day!!! It was hot, it was humid and it just even more hotter in the evening. I've been home planning and replanning. These million questions....questions to which i didnt have no answer...like "Should i go pick him from airport?" .."Should i leave from my place or stay over at his place and then go"..."Should i goto office after that or should i just call in sick" ...and as usual i couldn't found no answers...

You feel bad when you have all these questions in mind and nobody to help you....I was feeling terrible...confused....so i decided to go online and decided to make others life miserable too...pick on someone....maybe that would make me feel better(it normally makes me feel better)...so while i was waiting ..i got pinged by one of my old bball friend..so we started talking about different things...from life, to job, to Basketball, to NBA finals.

Apart from the fact that both of us hate our jobs, we had another thing we hate...LAKERS...well lets not go harsh on LAKERS....lets just say that they arent my favourite team. So we talked about everything...from how this being the best chance for kobe to shut out his critics(to all those who say he cant win a championship without SHAQ..on his own)...to MAGIC being a one (Super)man army...from all the free agents to Phil Jackson fighting for his record 10th ring...thats when i told him that buzz is that Phil was dating LAKERS VP. so i sent him coupla links..to show him who she was..and then he pasted me links of Kobes wife Venessa...by the time i was done looking at her pics...i had gotten another link..."HOTTEST SPORTS WIVES" ...i found it kinda funny....It has pictures and then a lil writeup about the couple...The funniest part was for golfer Tiger woods!!!This is what they had written about the woods wife.

"THIS IS WHERE TIGER SINKS HIS PUTTS"....LOL..now that was pretty funny...

I know you would love to see those trophies too..so here is the link....

Traces of Character!!

There are lot of things which tell about 'you' as a person. From your handwritting, your signature, your way of interacting with people, movement of your hands while you talk to anyone....lot of things. So while i was taking a shower(Believe it or not, all these weird thoughts come to my mind while im in shower), i was thinking if your password tells anything about you or not. Your email id's generally tell lot of things about you :). I,myself had pretty weird email id's....Damn!!This is cracking me up!! The first email id of mine was 'indian_laden' :p...then drfunk( i actually had that written outside my door in hostel...wat a loser !!!! :p) then 'millitant'...lol...yea..thats a fact..apparently i always wanted to be the bad guy...I guess ive made quite a name for myself ...lol...

But coming back to passwords...are they as flashy as those id's? Personally ive had all kinds of passwords...from my best friends last name to my favourite basketball team (Pistons) to "butterchicken" to my home address and in between i even used 'qwerty' as my password....varied things/items/people. I discussed this with couple of my co-workers in office and got interesting remarks. One of them told me that her passwords are always based on a cartoon character. Other i know said she always uses word "sunny" in her passwords. I guess there are many things which tell about us. Perhaps when you get old, you can laugh about all these things.

Just a Word????

Acceptance...a small word with big implications. Its like an undercurrent. Before you realize you are pulled towards the ocean. In this case, the ocean of people judging you on different criteria, different parameters. Well..I guess things aren't meant to be simple always!!!

Like one of my friend said ...Its a Hard world.

Saints @ the ceremony!!!!

Couple of "saints" went to christening ceremony of a fellow saints daughter. A fun trip. We need to do it more often. Only if we all have time. Hmmm

Dream Realized

As a kid I used to accompany my granny to the construction site of our house and ive been told that at that time, all I wanted to become was a “labor”…… Having spent around 5 years in IT industry, I can safely say that I’ve realized my dream. :)

R.I.P

Shocker of a news!!! Today i came to know that one of my ex-co-worker lost his wife in a car accident. Its not that i knew him on a personal level or anything but still i feel for him, i feel bad for him cuz its a huge loss...Just like the first job, the people you meet during that time also get special to you.

The biggest irony is that he was travelling to his home town and his wife was on her way to airport to pick him up. But fate had different plans i guess. I just can sympathize and console him but the void that has been created for a husband, for a child can't be filled. Such is Life I guess. One moment you have everything and then in a blink it gets taken away from you. I guess moments like these emphasise the importance of thanking the God for giving us everything.

May God give strength to everyone affected by this tragedy to accept the things. May her soul rest in Peace.

Game Over

Addictions they say are BAD!!! We all have been hooked onto IPL for over a month now. Whoever you were, whatever you do all you would want was to get to a TV before 8pm IST. First thing you do once you got home was to turn on the TV and put on the sports channel. Boy what a fun it was. But now that it's over, you come home and wonder what to do *sigh*. I guess we would have the answer in couple of days time.

Still Scribbling!!!

Life has come to a point where I have to take a decision. Things aren’t exciting anymore. Life has become a ‘routine’ or maybe that’s how it has always been for me…maybe ive started realizing it now. Professionally I don’t like it anymore. Even though I have people who trust my abilities and see me doing wonders here, I somehow can’t picture myself doing all that. There are quite a few number of things bothering me…. I wish I was able to narrow it down and take the thorn out. I, definitely, don’t have a mile long list but it’s just that I don’t know what’s bothering me more.

Is it the market slump(we, directly or indirectly, are affected by it) or is it the new work environment/people or is it the kind of work that ive been asked to do or is it my ignorance.

I don’t know what good or bad am I doing to me by standing still and letting the time go but im not able to find a way out… not able to face the daemons. Hell! Im not able to see them, forget about facing them. I hate when I get into this mood. I hate to wear the ‘thinking’ cap cuz I never take it off. I love to be the spur-of-the-moment guy and I hate not being that guy. It’s been months …..what makes things worse is that even though ive realized the change, I can’t do jack shit about it. I mean that proves my point of me leading a routine life. I mean in terms of materialistic things as well, I think a million times. I can’t go out with friends for a drink. I can’t get the tattoo done. I can’t go home(read Punjab) ….Why? Cuz something inside me tells me to save the money …. Save the money for something big….spend it wisely…

What a life!! Is it even mine? I doubt that!!! It’s like ive been living it for someone else. Killing myself everyday so as to make life better for others.

I donno man..i can go on and on and on….nobody would care…nobody does!!!! Cuz…. they say “It’s your life” ….. IS IT? :)

MISFIT

Just when I was thinking that ive come a long way and ive gotten a grip over my anger and emotions, I see myself at the same old familiar spot. All this while I was thinking that ive grown up and I'm not the same temperamental person anymore. I thought I’d come off age and have mellowed down. But apparently I was wrong. Ive been feeling this for past couple of days now. The thing that I don’t understand about all this is that is it a attitude thing? or can I just not accept half-hearted efforts or double-standards ? I mean if I have to put it on paper, I would say it all starts with driving to work. I mean people just don’t follow rules here. I think cows/buffalos manage themselves really well on the roads and stay organized. People here are chaotic, don’t care about others no more. No blinkers, overtaking from the wrong side, jaywalking ...all of it... At times I feel like beating the crap out of each and every person that doesn’t follow the rule.

Then the work, I mean im happy with the change, with the co. but not with people. It’s getting hard for me to decide who do i hate more...i-know-it-all guy or i-will-lick-my-bosses-ass guy. I think the latter will take the cake. While im at it, I would also like to extend my hatred to all those people who are working from client-side(the so called "onsite") and think that people in "offshore" are slaves. I mean come on don’t we have plans, don’t we like to party, don’t we need time to un-wind?

And then there was one thing which I really looked forward to in the evenings. The Ball park. Not anymore though. It was till I met bunch of guys who think they run the show here. Just cuz u r in the team for past 15 years doesn’t mean you know it all. I mean it gets ridiculous at time. They want to play tough but against small guys. They slap, they bruise, they push but when I do all of these to them, they cry foul. I mean how fair is that? why don’t they pick somebody their own size?

But you know what, it kind of fits into place. If you start solving the puzzle, puzzle as to why they haven’t made it past round1, forget about winning and tourneys, you have the answer. They are happy winning over their team mates, happy playing half courts and happy calling themselves #5 fans. They don’t want anybody to learn, they don’t trust in each other, they don’t share the ideology. This makes me even more grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry.

So by the time my day ends, im a rage machine. I don’t know what to do about it or how to let-go of certain things. Am i over-reacting? Is it as simple as "shit-happens, move on" or Am I a misfit here????. Misfit in this part of the country, misfit in this part of the world or misfit in scheme of things of life?

STILL Thinking!!!!!!

Past couple of days have been very depressing...well i wont really like to call them depressing, its just that ive done a lot of soul-searching . Soul-searching is good when you get answers to your questions. Its good when you get a direction out of it. But its a pretty fucked up thing if u dont get answers to any of the questions u ask urself. And thats where i am currently.

Realizing that you have lived out half of ur life and havent achieved anything remarkable isnt a great feeling.

I dont know if its called REALITY CHECK or MID-LIFE CRISIS.

Thinking out loud!

Today was one of those days when i hated everything about me. I hate my life. I mean ive got to a point where i want to break free but what-will-people-say is whats keeping me from doing anything 'rash'. I mean i want to do things that would make *ME* happy...things that might not get me good money but will help me feel content. But if you ask me what are those things? What would make me happy? I would be ask blank as i am now. Cuz to be honest i dont know what i want, what i like.

Im tired of living a fake life. I hate wearing a mask everysecond of the day. Im not sure if anyone knows the real me. Im not sure if *I* know the real me.

Nothing in my current life makes me happy. NOTHING. Not even booze. I do it cuz that is the only thing that makes me forget alllll these things for a while...but i dont want it. I dont want that to be a part of my life. But i aint got nothing better happening in my life.

Maybe i should press a backspace..but would that mean that im again hiding behind the mask? Maybe someone out there will read this and will help me realize what i want..but will that somebody know what 'he/she' wants from life?

I doubt!!!

Spam!!!

After having posted the spam mails from a guys inbox(enlargements, enhancements, making “it” bigger and stuff), I asked my female friends to let me peep into their spam boxes. Couple of them were offended by the idea while others were generous enough to let me see their inboxes.

I didn’t find anything remotely close to what can be called “Interesting”, but it did made me think……Think about what could a girl get as spam…Apart from the expected h-e-l-p-u-r-s-e-l-f thing they would probably get emails on how to make *it* tighter, smaller perhaps….like a virgin maybe…hmmm…wonder if there is any such “treat”ment .

Gross !!!????? nah!!! Its called Power of Imagination!!!!!

PS: For reading the man spambox..http://3pinhole.blogspot.com/

My next Tattoo!!!

This is what my next tattoo is going to be. Its something that is profound and means a lot to me. Its something i believe in.

It reads :

JISKE SIR UPPAR TU SWAMI

SO DUKH KAISA PAAWEY

Meaning: The one who you guard, wont have to worry about anything else.

April Review!

Summer tyyyme....Its that time of the year when you cant do anything..you cant help but stay indoors...its so freaking hot outside that you dont even feel like going out.... at all...not even to get booze....

April was just a trailer of what weather gods have in store for me i think. And if im reading the signs correctly, its gonna be more sweat and more beer.

So here is my review of last month.

• They say "Health is Wealth"....so first and foremost my resolution will be to a) maintain my weight in double digits this year and b) to get back to a moderate 36 inch waist line...maybe by end of Q2-09 --> The kgs are still in double digit, bt its the beer belly that im worried about. Long working hours arent helping either.
• To be a regular face @ the gym/Ball park -->Something which needs a lil attention i feel...from playing everyday to playing every alternate day to playing whenever i get time!?!?!?!?! Its gonna go down the drain unless i do something about it..hmmm
• To abstain myself from drinking BEER/RUMS/VODKA/AERIATED DRINKS...I guess that means i'll have to live on WHISKY and SCOTCH ;) --> It was a BAD BAD month...drank like a fish...Beer, Beer and more Beer...Need to turn down couple of invitations...or need to "not" drink on weekdays...or need to "not" go out and drink.
• To "not-to" feast on any food buffets this year --> This i feel is undercontrol...partially cuz of the weather...partially due to me being a vegetarian or in other words..not finding the buffets worth the money..hmmm..
• To try and be a vegetarian this year..-->4 months!!?!???? WOW!!!!!…i guess ive accepted myself as a vegetarian..wait till i go out for a party or something
• To do a lil more travelling, take a week off every quarter and visit all the nearest place or hill stations or explore new places locally. --> Nothing on this front..life has been pretty boring.... I dont expect anything from May too. ..Again its a mix of being very Hot outside, not having a car and work pressures.
• To file for immigration this year. --> Did checked with coupla friends...got suggestions, need to visit couple of consultants.
• To finally buy a book and start preparing for GMAT and IAS services(both extremes i know) --> Nothing here too...too busy i guess...
• To, inshah-allah, continue my travelling streak abroad --> Is it gonna happen????
• To save some money and eventually bring my loan account down -->Have to take care of some other important/pressing things...will see how it goes..
• To try and be the same energetic and enthusiastic person that i was coupla years back. --> On track
• To "not-to" forget birthdays this year and make sure that atleats a call/text is made/sent---> Was a good month...i AM social again :)

TJ!!

This is my main man TJ doing the thang ...

He is Sachin Tendulkar of Indian Basketball...and the winner of the first ever dunk competition held in India. Well, he was the joint winner. He @ 6 foot shared the trophy with S.Robinson(6 foot 7 inches) from Tamil Nadu.

Here is he doing the thing for the crowd. As you can hear, ppl zimbly love him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0oDAbozck0

Scary Thought!!!!

I wonder whats more scarier..a Girlfriend finding out that her boyfriend is having a an affair with another chick OR a Girlfriend finding out that her boyfriend is having an affair with a guy? :p

Sufi Rock

I’m sure all of you would have heard some kind of Sufi song in your life. Different people have different meaning and understanding of what Sufi songs are. To some they are the songs who talk about GOD and his love. To some its something which talks about GOD and love. To me its something which you can hear or sing for both GOD and your beloved. You can use the same lyrics to praise/please your GOD or your lover. To me that’s the magnum opus in writing.

For example: Lagi tumse man ki lagan or Sanson ki mala pe , simroon main pee ka naam or Teri Diwani….

I guess being an Indian and knowing both languages i.e. Hindi and Punjabi helps me a great deal when it comes to finding this connection.

But I was pleasantly surprised when it came to English songs. The so called ROCK Legends have done the same. Well atleast to me it fits the bill of Sufi Song :)

And the song in question here is “Nothing else matters” by Metallica. The name itself tells you a gr8 deal about the song and then the following lyrics.

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters